Sweetheartisms & Sh*t I Say to My Boyfriend

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After many raised eyebrows, it's occurred to me that Sweetheart and I apparently have a very quotable relationship.  These are the kinds of sweet nothings we say to each other:

Sweetheartisms
-Is that Orgasm all over your face or are you just happy to see me?

The Best Push Presents

This can be mine if I don't mind having, as Borat would say, wizard's sleeve lady parts.

A while ago, I received this photo from Sweetheart when he was at the Toronto Auto Show, followed by a text saying it’ll be mine once I bear his 7th child. Setting aside the fact that I am not a sow (and therefore refuse to produce that many offspring) –

The Ex Files

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Four years.  It’s been just over four years since my first love totally turned my life upside down, and I’ve never had any closure.  But I guess it doesn’t matter anymore. 
I was recently lurking on Facebook when a mutual friend who never pops up on my feed made an appearance and mentioned him in a post.  I hadn’t been on his profile in over two years and, curious, I clicked on his name to have a look.  I feel…really complicated, and I just want to get this down in writing.

A little background info: