Friday, November 7, 2008


A child hit on me today. I sh!t you not.

My mum insists that I have a baby face, and I always thought that that just means I have to be careful about perverts with Lolita fetishes, but apparently, that's the least of my problems.

I was contemplating the all-important matter of what kind of pasta I should get, when out of the corner of my eye, I saw that someone wanted to get by. Since the aisle was kind of narrow, I tucked myself against one side to let them through, but this boy of no more than 12, I'm positive, stops in front of me and says, "Bonjour!"

I respond in kind to be nice, but instead of passing through like I expected him to, he looks me up and down and tells me, "Vous êtes très belle."

Well, I certainly don't hear that every day. I definitely wasn't trying to look attractive and I knew I didn't today - trust me, I know when I'm hot. Besides that, I'd just eaten a pissaladière and probably reeked of onions. Slightly stunned, I paused for a moment and thanked him hesitantly. Then he looks me over again and says, "Superbelle."

Totally uncomfortable at this point, I give him a tight smile and start inching away. He makes a show of looking at the shelves mutters, "Couscous..." and then he turns back to me and asks me if I knew where the couscous was. Well, it was right in front of him, and I pointed at it. He thanked me enthusiastically, and with a quick "De rien!" I got my ass outta there.

I have two theories for why this could have happened:

1.) I was wearing a short skirt. It's not even that short (it's mid-thigh), but all the local women were bundled in woolly sweaters, boots and various winter accessories, so maybe it looked like I was trying to get attention? It was a balmy 18 degrees today though, and totally comfortable enough for a Canadian girl to rock a denim (not that) mini, tank top and a boyfriend cardigan with ballet flats.

But I find that French guys tend to fall at your feet if you're wearing a short skirt, even if your legs are average at best. I mean, my legs are fine, but they're not really that spectacular, and they were really dry today.

2.) Prepubescent kids just think about sex all the time anyway, but Europeans are more up front about it. My Auntie's godson (of sorts), who I met in Germany, substantiates this. I was at their apartment, and Auntie was forcing the poor kid to entertain me. He's not quite 15 years old and too cool for school. We found that we have similar musical interests (rap) so he showed me his iTunes. When I saw that he has Gasolina by Daddy Yankee, I asked him if he speaks Spanish. He said that he didn't, and I think it's stupid to be grooving to something you don't understand, so I explained the gist of the song to him - Gasolina is a euphemism for sex, of course, and the song's all about the singer pursuing a woman who's taken.

I also saw that he had the clean version of Akon's I Wanna F*ck You, and I asked him if he'd heard the original before. He had no idea that he was listening to the clean version, so I told him the real name, in case he wanted to YouTube it or something.

He looked at me cheekily and asked, "Are you having sex?" spoken very clearly, despite his self-proclaimed poor English. I told him with what I hope was a kind smile that it's none of his business, and he dropped the subject. Then I told him that I'm 21, and he knocked his head against his own desk.

Let's hope I start attracting guys who are at least legal!

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