No Detoxing with Gravel Juice

Every winter, it’s like my goal to get fat during the holidays, not so much because I particularly enjoy how I look in that state (although I certainly don’t mind it), but more because it’s how I naturally become when I am well-fed, well-rested, free of stress, and therefore happy. I think it’s probably my natural state to be round and soft all over. Then when I get back to school, I have to get rid of my holiday poundage, which usually isn’t too hard because when I am in school, I’m typically less well-fed, less well-rested, and not free from stress at all.

According to the January edition of Gwyneth Paltrow’s GOOP newsletter, which I don’t subscribe to but heard about, she too has holiday poundage to work off. I call bullshit, but hey, it’s everyone’s prerogative to have an opinion. The food featured in her newsletter is the most unappetizing stuff I have ever seen - the teriyaki chicken literally looks like a log of crap, and the blueberry smoothie looks like gravel juice. If that’s how they look professionally-styled and photographed with flattering lighting and everything, I know I’d never want to put the real things in my mouth. And of course, that little detox regimen is so practical for women who have to work or go to school or take care of their kids full-time and have no personal chef (or nanny or housekeeper). Of course it is.

But I don’t have to zap any holiday poundage this year, because I went to Tokyo – this is what I’m comforting myself with in my post-holiday blues.

The beauty of Tokyo (and Hong Kong too, come to think of it) is that even someone with such a sluggish metabolism as myself can pretty eat as much as I want and not gain weight. Heck, I’d probably lose weight living in cities like that. It’s pointless to have a car because the public transit system is so good, so you end up doing a ton of walking, and you don’t realize it until the end of the day when your feet suddenly hurt. And you don’t feel all the walking because there are a ton of interesting things and fashionable people to stare at.

I think I’m going to go home a lot more svelte, because apart from not having holiday weight to get rid of, there’s nothing good to eat (that I can afford, anyway) here...