Monday, March 7, 2011

I've Got Me

The problem with having a very repetitive job is that my mind goes numb after the first few minutes of working and then it just wanders randomly everywhere...leaving me free to remember and relive things I'd rather forget.

But that's my own punishment for making poor choices, so I kind of deserve it. Now that the conventional gatekeepers and guards in my life aren't always witness or privy to my mistakes and therefore there to berate me until shame/irritation mentally beats me into submission (i.e. never doing the same thing[s]again) my own mind is stepping up to the plate admirably. I suppose that's part of growing up.

So with unfortunate recent situations in mind, I've decided to add the following things to my 2011 Goals list:

7.) Break the habit of asking questions whose answers I already have an inkling/know outright I won't like.
8.) Stop poisoning my body - not that I ever did that often or even regularly, but I'm coming to realize that even once in a while is too much.
9.) Stop seeking trouble. Must be my bleeding heart. I need to trust my instincts - like, if being in a certain environment makes me feel like the inherent happiness in me is being leeched out, I need to stop putting myself in that situation.
10.) Keep in mind that mistakes ≠ the end of the world

My friends would also suggest that I stop thinking and overanalysing as much as I do, but that's a very deeply-entrenched characteristic of mine, and it's not always bad. Sure, I drive myself nuts, but I also enjoy my own company immensely. In fact, I'm one of my favourite people to spend time with.

And at the end of the day, I think that's what's most important. No matter what happens, I've got my own back.

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