Wednesday, November 17, 2010

The Meaning of Wife

One of my new roommates - who looks about 17 but is actually 26 - is apparently married.  I'd had conversations with her before where she brought up her "pareja" (partner) - which led me to wonder if she was a lesbian or if she was just trying to be cool and not get married.

But married she is.  To a dude.  And her hubs is in Fontainebleau studying for an MBA or something.

"But that's impossible!" I exclaimed to my mother the other day over Skype, "She's such a slob!  How can someone so messy be a wife?!"

"Why can't slobs be wives?"

"Because when you get married, it's like you have a permanent roommate!  You can't afford to be so messy when you're sharing your space with someone forever!  Surely she must have picked up some cleaning skills from whatever amount of time they've cohabited."

"Maybe they've never cohabited before, especially if they're both still studying.  And messy COUPLES - there only is conflict when one person is substantially more or less messy than the other person - are why there are properties in the world that are total pigstys." [editor's note: Superwoman deals in real estate]

"But...but when a woman's married, that means that there's the possibility that she may become someone's mom at any moment!  If ever my v'jay is at risk of exploding with a human, I'd hope that I were organized and put-together enough that I wouldn't leave grease all over the kitchen counter, dump clumps of food down the sink, toss wet garbage into an unlined garbage can or leave a film of stickiness all over the kitchen every time I try to hand squeeze myself a cup of orange juice!"

At this point, Superwoman was more concerned about my attitude towards childbirth than anything - in addition to the fact that I saw getting married as acquiring a permanent roommate.  (I think it's perfectly reasonable to think of a husband as a permanent roommate - isn't that what he's supposed to be?  Living with you until one of you dies?)

So that got me thinking - how did I come up with this idea of what a wife should be?  Where did I get the idea that a wife can't be messy?  It's not a double standard, mind you.  I think men who have become husbands also shouldn't be slobs - there should be some kind of bottom line.  Mostly because I cringe at the thought of babies being raised in piles of filth.

But there are lots and lots of messy people in the world - maybe I'm just being a little too idealistic?

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