The Oversharing Former Classmate

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Petite.  Both vertically and horizontally. Was universally disliked in high school, or tolerated at best.  Has a mouth that just doesn't stop...
Extremely meddlesome and nosy.  Immune and/or oblivious to all the eye rolls and exasperated exhalations that follow her.

Ruined my first two might-have-been relationships, but I got over that long ago.

Skipped a lot in high school, never even tried at all, never did assignments, barely showed up for exams, and dropped out of college years later.  It didn't seem like a big deal to her at the time - in fact, she felt that her rebel-badgirlness gave her some street cred.  If only she knew that, seven years later, when she ran into former classmates with postsecondary education and (what she calls) real jobs, she would suffer for it, and develop an inferiority complex.

She hugs me when she recognizes me, and I reluctantly reciprocate.  We don't ask because we don't care to know, but we learn about her entire life story, down to every minute detail, from what she's gone through since high school, within 10 minutes of seeing her again.  The pace of her speech puts southern auctioneers to shame.

She keeps returning to our table every few minutes to "check on us" - she is our server.  She's a bit of a drifter now, she tells us breathily.  It's nearly impossible to find a decent job because employers just won't give you a chance if you only have a high school diploma - can you believe it?!  That's bullsh*t; that's so unfair!  Maybe she will go back to Hong Kong and start over.  Forget all the drama here.  F*ck Toronto and f*ck Canada. 

When we try to be nice and we agree with her that moving back to Hong Kong might provide a nice change of environment for her, she contradicts us.  Not really, she says, I don't really have anyone or anything there to look forward to.  She can't win and neither can we.

We end up consuming our meals as quickly has possible to get out of there and to avoid more stories & her prying.